Dreams of Being Hip: Netflix is Hurting My Hipness

Netflix is really screwing me over right now. I'm trying to be hip, ya know, do things before they're cool, but Netflix is really making that hard. I should be watching some obscure movie that just hit Netflix and is going to be all over the news so I can later say "Yeah I saw that on Netflix a week ago, it was ok I guess." But instead, I'm here re-watching season 3 of House MD.Come to think of it, there's really a scale of coolness for hipsters. We do things before they're cool, and then once they're cool, we back off. We do wait until a certain point where it's not cool anymore, then start doing it again. Some of these include:

• Film cameras
• Ironically wearing 70s and 90s clothing
• That song "Like a Prayer" by Madona
• Flannel
• Thick nerdy glasses

Here is a handy graphic I made after a few years of research on how things that are not cool are cool for hipsters and then once they become cool, they aren't cool for hipsters. Subsequently, once they stop being cool for everyone else, they are cool for hipsters. Now hopefully this isn't too technical for anyone out there. Basically, as time goes on (a continuum), something that is not cool is good for a hipster to do. Then, once it becomes cool, it's not ok for a hipster to do. Finally, the fad wears off, and it's cool to do it ironically.At the moment, I'm currently doing a few things ironically because they used to be cool and now aren't. For example, I've been polluting a ton. That used to be cool, then it became cool to not pollute, so I'm polluting ironically as a protest against it.So while I may be doing something bad for the environment, it's good for the collective culture to see someone polluting ironically or something. Who knows? I don't have to and neither do you. Just as long as it's intentionally confusing and obtuse, it's hip as heck.I thought that writing about how it's so not hip to watch House but I should be watching something new... But instead I wrote this article and made a graph in photoshop to justify my watching of House.So as House would say:

Even a drunk with a flare for the dramatic can tell himself he's an angel

So that's basically what I just did, convinced myself, and you the dedicated reader, through my complicated and technical read on coolness over time, that what I'm doing is perfectly hip. That's right, this blog has become self-aware and now I can create hipness out of thin air and faulty logic.And that's why this week's dream of being hip is for a few of the current TV shows to become not cool so I can finally watch them.