People pull me out of mosh pits because they assume I don’t want to be there: Part II

1. Since writing my first article about being a small girl in mosh pits a few weeks ago I've received a lot of positive feedback, so I'm pretty excited to keep writing about this topic after every few shows I go to. I even got a Reva award for being "Small but Mighty" from the Women's Resource Center for that article and for some other work I've done for the WRC (thanks Molly, Alex, and Blake). So here goes...

 The Kickback, Audible Meats, 3/5/16The best shows I've ever been to have been at Urbana house shows. As some of you might know, there has been a serious house show drought in Urbana while the music community has been searching for new safe spaces that want to host. Hopefully this venue sparks a new wave of safe spaces to host shows at. So far, they've hosted some really fun shows. One reason I really like house shows here in Urbana is because the community is so tightly knit that I can look around the crowd and recognize basically everyone. There are a lot of different aspects you could take into consideration when labeling a venue as a safe space. Recognizing everyone isn't necessary for me to feel safe at a show, but it definitely helps. So, this was the third time I've seen the Kickback. Even though they're from Chicago, all three times I've seen them were at Urbana house shows, and they never disappoint. The basement at Audible Meats is pretty small, and the Kickback shows can get a little rowdy. It's pretty easy to send me flying across a room, so sometimes I like a really small venue because I can't fly that far. So I didn't get thrown that far, but I did get launched really fast into a pillar during "Rob Our House", which left my entire body sore for the next few days. At least when I'm in a crowd full of my friends, they try to avoid elbowing me in the face. Parquet Courts, Metro Chicago, 4/20/16This was my second time seeing Parquet Courts in the span of a few months. I haven't been an active part of the music scene in Chicago for the past few years because I've been living in Urbana, but it seems like a lot of the people I've met in Urbana have gravitated towards Chicago. This show was like an Urbana reunion. Like I mentioned earlier, seeing familiar faces in the crowd makes me feel really comfortable in the pit at shows, especially up in Chicago where the pit tends to be more aggressive. This pit was particularly aggressive, even though there were only a few songs that were mosh-able. Probably because they played their entire new album, which isn't as punky as some of their older albums. The crowd was itching to mosh, but only got a few chances to do it, so they got really pumped every chance they got. They opened with Sunbathing Animal. This is one of my favorite songs ever, but I still think it was weird choice for an opener. After seeing them in February, I was pretty convinced that they didn't really understand how to choose a set list, and this show confirmed that. At least they didn't close with Uncast Shadow this time. I don't agree with how they organize their set lists, but you can tell by their music that they like to do what ever they want, and if you don't like it, that's your problem. Sorry, I got a little off-track, but that song set the mood for a fast-paced, high-energy show, so I went straight for the pit. The first thing I noticed, which ended up being the biggest obstacle, was the wall of couples in the very front, angrily shoving the moshers away, as if this was unexpected during such a fast song. Other than that, this pit was not very eventful in terms of being a small girl, which is a good thing, I think? Journalism, Audible Meats, 4/21/16This was another show full of people I knew, so the pit was great. I have to thank the Urbana music community for slowly getting me more and more comfortable in the pit. I probably would have never even thought about entering the more intense mosh pits I've been a part of if I didn't start out moshing with a crowd full of familiar faces. There were four bands at this show, but the only one anyone wanted to mosh to was a band from New York called Journalism. I, inevitably, got thrown into that same pillar from the Kickback show. Since this was the day after the Parquet Courts show, I was twice as sore after hitting that pillar this time. Mosh pits look really violent from the outside, but they rarely actually get violent. This show was an exception. This venue is relatively new, and I noticed that it was a lot of peoples' first time being in a mosh pit. Regardless of your size, you're going to get hit at least once. One person in particular was not used to getting shoved around and occasionally punched or kicked. He ended up starting a fight that quickly got broken up by my roommate Brandon and a few other people. I'm used to the aggression in mosh pits, but after that I stayed out of the pit. Being afraid to get into a rowdy pit is fine. I love moshing, but I still get intimidated sometimes. As someone who panics when there's no seats on the bus because she’s too short to reach the bars on the ceiling, I get it. Sometimes being afraid of things that people do without thinking twice about it feels irrational, but it's just because people don't really see the world from your point of view. Hopefully these articles are validating for some of you. If you're trying to build up the courage to join a mosh pit, don't think of it as a riotous crowd. In the words of Kickboy Face from the short-lived band Catholic Discipline talking about how he feels when he's on stage, "I'm making an ass of myself, but I'm getting away with it." The same goes for the people in the crowd. We're not trying to start a riot, we're just letting loose in place where we can get away with it.