Extra Toppings: 5 Ways To Maximize Your Summer Music Festival Experience

With the internet being ruled by cat videos, filters, and moms on Facebook, there's nothing more relaxing and reassuring  than heading to your favorite website and reading every top 10, top 20, top 54, or top bajillion and 2 list it has to offer. These lists take the thoughts right out of your brain and line them up nice and neat so you can nod your head in agreement that yes, I do agree with number 16 on the "Top 28 Ways To Ward Off Evil Spirits" (which by the way is "having salt in your pocket"). If your list fix isn't satisfied - let's face it, it never is - you've come to right place. This is the be-all-end-all of all internet lists. Not only does Extra Toppings get in your mind, it expands your mind. Pizza-lovers, music-lovers, mother-lovers, and past lovers will all crave Extra Toppings after just one taste.This week's edition of Extra Toppings is dedicated to this summer's most talked about topic: music festivals. With Bonnaroo kicking off this week, keep these tips in mind while you're rushing between stages in hopes of seeing every band you want to...or will settle for. I present to you, 5 Ways To Maximize Your Summer Music Festival Experience.1. Bring along a board game or two. Chances are you'll have some downtime and what better place than the middle of the crowd during Disclosure's set to plop down and convince 2-8 others aged 10 years & older to join you in a friendly game of Monopoly. After all, you're all like family and nothing brings a family together quite like Monopoly. So you can take your thimble straight to Park Place, but do not pass Go. Just turn that fit you're going to throw into a sweet dance move and it will all be fine.2. Speak softly and carry a tall, decorated stick.You road tripped to the festival with six other people, but you'll likely be split up due to bathroom breaks, food stand lines, dead cell phone batteries, or artistic differences. Make sure you can find each other back without squirming through crowds and swapping sweat with a thousand people before losing your voice yelling "Jenna?!" for an hour straight. Carry a 10-foot pole that you decorated with flags, tassels, lights, and glitter to let your friends locate you from two stages away. Consider it your own personal map pin. Sure, your Search Stick ™ may be heavy and you may be dehydrated and losing precious energy, but it will all be worth it when Jenna finds you back and calls you a bitch to your face for ditching her in the corn dog line four hours ago.3. Make use of trash bags with a fresh-scented Odor Shield.It will rain and you will get wet, unless you follow my advice and take a trash bag with you. Cover up your tribal-tatted chest or lace crop-top with a big ol' black trash bag to keep your body, clothes and belongings dry during that afternoon shower. You may look like a fool, but you'll get the last laugh when the guy beside you has a waterlogged iPhone and wet jeans (although he's probably too high to care). While you're keeping dry, you might as well maintain a pleasant scent! Buy the bags with Odor Shield to make up for the shower you didn't take. Consider it a full-body deodorant.4. Invest in barefoot shoes.I'm not talking about those goofy toe shoes that your dad wears to the pool, I'm talking about shoes that look just like your bare feet, right down the hair on your left toe knuckle.  Sure, going barefoot would save your favorite shoes from being ruined by mud and it's easy to wash dirt right off bare feet, but you know what doesn't wash off? Tetanus. This is why you must create the illusion that you're hip and earthy enough to go barefoot, while keeping your feet clean and tetanus-free.5. Experience the festival at home.No need to drop 300+ dollars on tickets, provisions, and gas. Just stay home and experience the festival there! Buy a few cases of bottled water, tie a bandana around your head, don't shower for four days and you won't even notice you're not at the real festival. Hook up your computer to a wall-sized projector in your backyard and leave the live-streaming feed running all day long. You'll likely attract neighbors and friends who will want to join you, so make sure you're charge admission at the door. You have to pay for sanitation costs somehow. If you're heading out to any festivals this summer, have fun, ya dirty hippie!