Dreams of Being Hip: It Was All an Accident

I didn't mean to be like this, my hipness was an accident. Let me explain how this all went down...So, first, I was born. My parents were yuppies. They had no idea what they'd gotten themselves into, they were basically Generation Zero for the disease known as the current hipster.I grew up in an "up and coming" neighborhood in Chicago. The area was filled with liquor stores and trendy coffee shops. My parents tell me that as a kid my 2 favorite things were candy and espresso. This was my espresso cup as a kid (before 7 years old) Of course, since then I had a hipster internship with TV network Adult Swim and I've upgraded what I drink coffee out of to this: Nonetheless, as a child, I was drinking espresso with my parents in unique one of a kind coffee shops at the age of around 5 or 6.Eventually, the liquor store down the street from us was turned into a Starbucks and my parents decided to move to the suburbs.The suburbs gave me the unique opportunity to see what people my age were doing so I could figure out how to do the opposite and be a hipster.From there, I started my own trends in clothingFinally, the last step was learning irony:It was a complete accident, if anything, I was set up to be a hipster. From 5 years old sitting in coffee shops with my parents drinking espresso, not much has changed except I'm a little watered down as a hipster due to my age. And my espresso is as well since it is an Americano.That's why this week's dream of being hip is to go back in time and show my parents this column so they would reconsider their choice to live with the shame of a 2010s hipster as a son.